There are definitely two camps within me, two distinct decision making processes. Well, maybe it’s more than two, but for the moment two is enough to consider.
The first is thought. I think. A lot. Sometimes I think that I think too much. Or, I feel that I think too much. Or maybe both.
And, I feel. More and more as time goes by I am aware of this other aspect of me that is very intelligent, and has a very influential voice when it comes to my choices and decisions.
The challenge comes when these two aspects of self find themselves conflicted. It usually shows up as some version of: I think one thing, but I feel another. I think yes, but I feel no. Or vice versa. Or both, but one leans one direction and one the other. Or maybe the pendulums are both swinging all over the spectrum like a trailer park in a tornado. What then?
Deepak Chopra says, “There is a very interesting mechanism that the universe has to help you make spontaneously correct choices. The mechanism has to do with sensation in your body. Your body experiences two kinds of sensations; one is a sensation of comfort, the other is a sensation of discomfort. At the moment you consciously make a choice, pay attention to your body and ask your body, ‘If I make this choice, what happens?’ If your body sends a message of comfort, that’s the right choice. If your body sends a message of discomfort, then that’s not the appropriate choice.”
This supports my position that we live in an intelligent universe, that every aspect of my being – not just my brain – is intelligent, and that I am constantly being informed via that intelligent design.
Ernest Holmes says, “God speaks in a language more subtle than the human language… the universal language of emotion, sense, feeling, intuition, instinct.” He doesn’t mention thought, at all.
It’s no longer just about the choice before me. I need to be aware of not only what I am choosing, but why. I want to know what I am choosing from. What is my motivation? I no longer desire to choose from a place of woundedness, fear, or some kind of false belief about who and what I am. Or at least if I do choose from that place, I need to be aware of it, own it, and own any ramifications of that kind of choosing.
What I am seeking is to choose rightly, to choose from a place that’s in alignment with my values and my priorities, based on my heart and soul desires. But in order to choose in that way, I need to be clear on what those values and priorities are. I need clarity about who and what I am, and why I am. I need to heal the wounds and reconcile the fears, and choose from a place of wellness, from a place of congruence. That’s what creates the inner turmoil.
When I get those things reconciled, choosing becomes effortless. I am learning that language that Dr. Holmes speaks of and am developing a relationship with it. I trust it. It’s the intelligence of my design.
My brain has it’s own agenda. And I’m grateful for that. It’s doing it’s job. And I need and want to consider what it has to contribute to any consideration. But I also know what my brain is capable of. Given the proper motivation, I can, and have, talked myself into or out of dang near anything.
When I am choosing from a place of wellness, I think that Dr. Chopra is right on target. I need to consider feeling too. We know exactly what we need to know in every moment.
So when I have choices before me, it’s not clarity that I really need to be seeking. It’s awareness, of the intelligence of all of me: thought, and feeling. And it’s courage, to pay attention, to be informed in all of the ways that happens, and to follow where that informing leads.